Lesson 111 ~Remedial Sound~

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Hey Lady Lu...
Do I mean an echo; I suppose if one learns anything from having something repeated but I have learned nothing but to hate sound itself because it never really changes. I am sick of the insanity… what I always hear, what I imagine, and what I really need to hear, like the sounds of today’s victim High Summoner Yuna.

How long Luna must I hear The Abomination, it’s like a broken record, more like a broken me right, be buried again and again, dying forever. I can’t have silence, no not yet but I heard The Abomination last week and I spent a half hour screaming into a pillow; isn’t that just the start, no one ever hears me but you. A world full of noise maybe, people don’t know how to talk, listen, or just be quiet, hell if I didn’t talk to myself my demons would overwhelm me.

You know how I feel what my victims feel; like Yuna here all I hear is my own screaming, the things people say about me, and of course the sickness which is flesh, the mortal coil, and the filth outside as well as within. What I imagine I hear is someone else doing the screaming, myself let’s say “coming” of age, yes my virginity is still an issue, and silence; for them or me does it really make a difference anymore? I am not a fool… debatable but I know in the end this isn’t what I need, so what should I need; you know I want to say love but maybe someone to just listen or just for everyone else to shut up like you do Luna.

What have I learned today… maybe if I were like Shrek, to enjoy the noise; maybe I need it to keep me from destroying myself but The Abomination’s voice like I have been thinking all this week makes me want to kill myself. A final thought Luna, maybe what I have lost in the shuffle of voices is my very own; that is why I ask for a refresher course, a remedy, Remedial Sound.

LATE

~Remedial Sound~

Learning to talk
But made to listen
As you balk
At my existence
And gawk
With my dare to live

When’s my turn
The dead walk the ground
You need to learn
Remedial sound

* * *

Screaming
Nightmares
No dreaming
It’s not fair
A sadist creaming
Are you scared?

* * *

Moaning
It’s not the same
Groaning
Not my pain
But you knowing
My name

* * *

Truths
I don’t lie
Like you
Parting your thighs
Why you lose
To this guy

* * *

Silence
What’s left?
After such violence
Such theft
To be a tyrant
Is nothing left?

* * *

Of me
My voice
Won’t you concede?
To hear my choice
“No, please”
Was once my noise?

* * *

But I listened
As you made noise
Your mission
My ears but toys
So call this intermission
No stage, no joy

This Hyde once Jekyll
Leaves you bound, to drown, in the ground
Is there an echo?
No just Remedial Sound