Clone a Willy Kit of a Half-Assed Willy!

Not that my boyfriend has a half-assed Willy by any means...

I just meant that our creation turned out somewhat half-assed.

So, Saturday me and my boyfriend went out with a couple friends since one was in town from Seattle. We decided to take them to our normal bar hangout, since the food is cheap, the alcohol is stiff and the micro-brews are only $5.00 for a 32oz mug. (Yes, I know.. the best fucking bar ever - right?) I of course had an Adios Motherfucker, because well - I'm crazy like that. The only downside is, there's so much alcohol in it that it tastes like fucking rubbing alcohol. I suck it up and slurp it down, because I'm a bad ass who doesn't care too much about her liver.

Hey bartender, can I get a Mai Tai with extra cherries?

At this point I'm feeling pretty damn good. We get home, play some Buzz! Quiz World with the friends and then proceeded to call it a night, because I wanted to get some. Hey, I deserved the dick. I hadn't had it for almost 3 weeks. With-drawls were in effect.

So we head upstairs, start fooling around and my boyfriend gets the bright idea to start messing with the Clone a Willy Kit that I got from the Adult Sex Toys store, since he wouldn't be in the mood later in the week and I needed to get this product reviewed.

We un-packaged everything and read the directions. Even though we're both slightly buzzed here, we still managed to follow them pretty well. First, we needed to measure where his dick would be in the tube, so that we could cut it down some. I had to break out the oral, which was fine and dandy with me. But then, you have to stop once you get that finished, so you can continue the project. We cut the plastic down, and then get ready to mix the concoction together. Mind you, we had to go find scissors, gather a measuring cup, get a piece of cardboard and then I had to get him hard again. So, I continued to blow him all while he's mixing the water and molding powder together. Yes, we are multi-tasking motherfuckers.

His dick is finally ready to be stuck into this goo and once he does, it starts exploding out. So, make sure that you don't immediately put a towel underneath him, as you will never get this shit off. Dumb mistake on my part, since it would have been easier to clean it by peeling it up off the floor, instead of getting it caked into the god damn - brand new towel. Yea, I'm slightly pissed about that. And I never said I was smart! Plus, I blame the alcohol. It's always my excuse for stupidity. This is why it says to put newspaper down on the floor and counter, so that you can just toss it away and not have to worry about the mess. But no, we had to do it the hard and messy way, because otherwise I just wouldn't be happy or clearly, satisfied.

We then start to notice that the head of his dick is touching the side of the plastic tube and I'm worried that it's going to fuck it up, so I'm like what can we do to fix this? It said in the directions that you should twist the tube in order to avoid touching your penis on the sides, but my boyfriend didn't do this. I figured it would probably be okay, since it said not to worry if it does touch. I'm just happy that we managed to get his dick in there quick-like before it started turning into oatmeal, as this happens frequently and people don't even get a chance to do their penis mold.

Now, he pulls his dick out of the tube and we start mixing the rubber together with the water and then pour it in. Then we need to get the vibrator through the hole that we made on the cardboard and put it inside of the liquid silicone. The only downside is, if you have a dick that likes to curve when hard - the vibrator may not sit straight, which will cause it to show on one of the sides, like ours did.

We're finished and now we have to wait 24 hours for it to settle and harden. I'm anticipating the final product, because I want to see how realistic it turned out. About 21 hours go by and I just can't wait anymore -- I want to see it before 1 am hits. So, my boyfriend takes it out and we notice the vibrator showing on the side, like I had mentioned above. I don't know if there's really a way to avoid that, other than trying to get it perfectly aligned with the penis silicone. Then we see that the mushroom head has a slight mishap, because of it touching the side of the tube. Overall, it's a fucking masterpiece for our first time and I'm happy with it. I really can't stop admiring my boyfriend’s penis. Although, it's not as hard as it could have been, since I've seen him harder than what we created. But, it's pretty damn good!

I say for anyone that is in love with their husband or boyfriends penis and wants to be completely satisfied while they're out of town, you'll always have back-up with this Clone a Willy Kit. I really can't stop admiring it. I want it to sit on my desk, so I can just stare at it all day - like I've won an award or some shit. Only it'll be pantie-moistening, so I can flick the bean. That's right, flicking the bean. Aunt flow decided to come the night we created this, which freaked him the fuck out, because he's a pussy like that.

Oh well, that means I may go hiking after-all if my out of shape ass can make it up a hill or ten. But the outcome is still not looking good as we have rain in our forecast. Hell, it’s the Pacific Northwest – we’re used to it, but that doesn’t mean we like being out in it. ;)

This sex toy review was sponsored by Adult Sex Toys : over 8,000 sex toys and adult toys to choose from!!

**I received a product in order to provide a fair and accurate review. No form of monetary compensation was exchanged. All opinions expressed are strictly my own and were not influenced in any way**