Annoying Friends, Everyone Has One!

I knew this day was coming, since there was only so much more I could take before I simply explode and say FUCK IT! 

My friend of 12 years has been the most annoying person I know, yet I always gave her the benefit of the doubt and put up with her constant bullshit that she spewed from her mouth on a daily basis. But today, I just wasn't going to deal with it.

The night we went to the bar, is the night that my boyfriend found her really, really annoying, so I mentioned that on my Fuck You Friday post. (No, not the first time, he always knew - but really wanted to let her know that night) I didn't care if she seen it, hell I WANTED her to see it so she would get a clue that she's not perfect in every fucking way, like she thinks.

I was then browsing through my boyfriend’s phone and noticed this picture on it from the Men's bathroom at the bar that said Jennifer has a 3 inch clit with her number. Well she got an unexpected blocked call from the bar that night and I said someone probably wrote your number down in the bathroom, not even knowing that's what happened. So, I uploaded it to Facebook, because one it was funny and two - we're good enough friends that you would think she wouldn't give a shit and laugh it off. But, no, she decided that it was totally immoral of me to post it on Facebook and immediately called my roommate to ask what the fuck I was doing posting a picture on Facebook - like he fucking cares to deal with her. Plain and simple - she overreacted with me and wasn't even pissed at the fact that he posted that shit in a public place. Hello bitch, my Facebook is private and you've added like half of my people, so who looks like the douche-y friend now?

After my roommate says he has to go, because he doesn't want to talk to her - she then decides to message me and ask me what the fuck my problem is. I didn't think I had one, so like I said above... I wasn't going to put up with her psychotic babble and told her to fuck off. And of course I couldn't have the last word so she had to send me a message on there after I logged out, telling me that I'm the psychotic one because I have no life and need to resort to blogging because of it. 

Uhm, what? Where the fuck did this come from.. I mean I know I said Fuck OFF, but this doesn't pertain to anything that I had said above? And of course I'm going to blog about this, because basically you just said that all people who blog are fucking losers, you dumb bitch. This is an outlet to express myself any fucking way I want to. The only person that has no life is you. 

1. You live at home with mommy and daddy at the age of 30 and most likely will forever, because no one can stand to live with your piggish fucking ass. Yes, I said piggish. You are a dirty motherfucker and your house should be on one of those hoarding shows, because you're too lazy to clean it up. Your car is also the same way, so I can just imagine the poor person that will have to put up with your nasty shit.

2. You have never been in a serious relationship the whole time I've known you. Hmm, I wonder why? Maybe because you're a controlling, overbearing bitch - that is way to fucking picky for your own good. You always want a man with toned arms and a nice body, but have you looked at yourself? You're not exactly a fucking prized possession with your ginormous ham hock arms and legs. I get so fucking pissed when you put people down that look better than you do, yet you act like they don't. Get a clue and a fucking mirror because you're not god’s gift.

3. Every time you say that you wear the same size jeans as me, I die laughing inside. I'm sorry, but you're not even anywhere near close to the same size, nor will you ever be. You practically have to Crisco yourself up to even get the pants on because you don't believe in buying something true to your size. I'm literally surprised the seams haven't exploded on all of them or the button pops over the top, because of your muffin top. IF you haven't noticed, those aren't fucking HOT.

4. I don't know why you have to bring up your fucking tits everywhere you go, to strangers, family members, friends and everyone that crosses your path like they're the fucking hottest thing since sliced bread. They're not even huge, like you think they are. And with your size, they could be bigger. So when you decide to spout off to someone who does have huge tits, that you're only slightly smaller than her, take a fucking look in the mirror again, because you're a fucking joke and look like an idiot.

5. You're delusional person who makes up stories off the top of her head who actually believes they're real. I've caught you numerous times doing this, because you always tell me something different each time with your fucking Alzheimer’s ass. Yet I sit there and just nod and agree, because I don't want to argue with you.

6. I'm tired of you always thinking I have to hang out with you like 3-4 days a week or to go do something that I don't want to do and get pissed off at me because I don't want to do it. You need a fucking life and a man so you will get off my nut sack. I have a life of my own that I don't have to share with you all damn week!

7. You don't fucking work 56 hours a week. Again this is you being delusional since there's no possible way with you having 2 days off and only working like 4 hours a day 2 or 3 of those days. Do you see where your stories conflict? I mean you're retarded if you think someone believes this shit. So saying you have no time for a man or anything else is a fucking joke, since you have plenty of time - you just don't have anyone to share it with. Plus, you sit on fucking Facebook and playing your 50 god damn game apps all day long and post nothing but that to your wall. So, who has no life?

8. Telling people you're a photographer or a medical assistant to sound cool, isn't in fact cool. It's a facade. I mean, you work at a fucking Wal-Mart in the picture me studio - which isn't a real photographer job. All you do is lay a kid down on the stand and snap a photo. Does that take talent? No. And you're not a medical assistant either, since you never got your certificate from school. So, I guess that's why you're not doing that and sitting at Wal-Mart.

9. Not every fucking guy that crosses your path wants your fat fucking ass.

10. Bossing other peoples children around because you have to control the situation ALL THE FUCKING TIME, is simply appalling and makes me want to punch you in the fucking face. The first time you tried that shit with my nieces I let it slide, but if there was a second time - I would have fucking told you right the fuck off then and there. You don't have the power to discipline other peoples children. That is the parents job. So get a fucking clue. Seriously sit and think about this, because you do it to everyone's kids that you know. You couldn't even let your nephew have a fun fucking day at the mini-golf place, since he wasn't playing perfectly. I feel sorry for any future kids that you may have. They're in for a shit-tastic ride.


11. Being a fucking cunt at my birthday party because no one was paying attention to the game or I wasn't guessing correctly to your standards and telling me to calm the fuck down because I was laughing is really fucking retarded. You pissed me off, plain and simple. You're not my fucking mother, bitch.

As soon as I grew balls and stop letting you control me, that's when everything went downhill and our personalities conflicted. I just can't handle you anymore; you drain me with your asinine ways. Twelve years of friendship down the drain. I'm just surprised I put up with it for this long. I really needed to get those off my chesticles.

I expect you to read the blog like a hawk to see if I post any shit.

Well guess what, it's here - so you don't have to wait too long.

So, I'm down a contributor now, not like she actually contributed anything worth while since I had to get on her fucking ass about it. Oh, but she would for the free sex toys.


I still have babe though, I think that's all I need for now - until I can find someone I trust.